I think I am going crazy. I feel like I am finally at a point in my life where I have some idea of what is going on. But I also think that the person I am working towards has to give up a lot. I don't know how I can vaguely explain how much I have changed in the past year. I had to give up so much and lose so many people and although it has been okay in the end, it has never been easy or finished. I feel like I'm still caught in spiderwebs that I brushed out long ago.
And why does everyone thrive on being mistreated? It's fucked up and when I'm out of the picture and able to see clearly there is a pretty good chance I will bust these people's noses. I'm gonna high five them in the face with friendship.
Like fast food these things kill you from the inside. And for some reason you are still willing to PAY for it. I don't know. Ugh.
On a seperate note, work is going really well. My favorite student A is back. I'm really worried about when he leaves because although he doesn't know it, he supports me just as much as I support him. I love working with M. I don't know what I would do without her. Same for Sp and Ed. Well not the same, but I'm glad they are there. And I kinda met a guy. But I have to assess that somemore before I make any decisions. I'm tired of hurting people. I think I may be a toxic person, the worst part is I have a talent for leading people to thinking I'm not at all. It's a double edged blade. Somethings I have perfected too well I suppose.
Anyway, I'm gonna make like a baby and head out.
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